Where is my gift of self-control?

As Christians, we pray for self-control. We see and expect others (and ourselves) to have self-control if they are living a Holy Spirit led life. Even those who

claim to be born-again, we expect self-control. We seek the results and gifts of the Holy Spirit while neglecting the journey it will take to get there. Seeking to correct the behavior(s) while neglecting the source of the issue is not a fruit of the Spirit. It would only lead to a superficial change at best.

Our lives have been molded and shaped by our parents. Our life experiences usually fall short of the ways in which the Holy Spirit operates. All of us have sinned and fallen short. Yet, we want the magic transformation gaining the fruits of the Spirit including self-control. Some have learned self-control as a way of life. Some have learned through years of practice to give in to our desires rather than practice self-control. Underlying emotional attachments, hinderances and issues preventing us from the self-control we seek. We want the Holy Spirit to bypass all of this and give us the end result of self-control.

We want a quick prayer and instant results. “Lord, take away my lust for ice cream.” We want proof that we no longer give in to temptation. Yet we neglect the wisdom and insights God has given us into the human psyche. Our unwanted behaviors come from a state of being (how we are or were raised) or a coping mechanism (how we deal with life). Is ice cream a comfort for emotional pain, suffering or frustration? If so, then learning to seek God’s Shalom (peace) when we need comfort from pain, frustration or suffering? We want tangible relief. So many of us fear trusting and relying upon God. Many have been trained to first seek out instant gratification because it was modeled for us. When we had a bad day or got hurt, did someone offer to take us out to eat or buy us ice cream?

Humanity has been given the gift of understanding some of the reasons behind our behaviors. Psychology / therapy / friends are gifts from God to aid in understanding ourselves and others. The world was created by God and so was our brain. God not only sees the things we go through but understands how we feel and why we did it. He understands far more than we do. He understands the reason we seek comfort, and the ways get it. Thought the world has not made the connection between God and psychology obvious, it is a gift that He has provided to turn us closer to Him. Like any tool or gift, we can take it in our own strength figuring it out without God or turn towards Him and ask for greater understanding.

The gift of self-control comes in many ways. It can come through the prompting of the Holy Spirit in a time of weakness. The Holy Spirit can be a reminder or go deeper with us if we seek it. He can lead us into our emotional depths where healing and transformation take place. God can use prayer, friends or psychology to go hand-in-hand into the abyss of the mind where our subconscious hides our motives and hurts.

We can get angry when God gives us lessons to remove hinderances, heal emotional issues or release us from emotional attachments. Gaining our security in God gives us a firm grounding and roots in unconditional love. Establishing an emotional balance through security can be a long journey before the fruits of the Spirit are recognized. The gifts of the Spirit can emerge gradually as we are brought from glory to glory in our transformation.

Being emotionally exhausted, people being harsh, feeling lonely and being financially unstable can be hard to cope with. Do we recognize our behavioral reactions as bandages, distractions or substitutions? Trying to change our reactions requires a new way to respond to emotions and that is the training and transformation that leaves a lasting gift of the Holy Spirit. God granting us emotional balance through a deeper and greater security in Christ. Gaining unconditional love and acceptance. A “New Life” in Christ begins a new foundation and the transformation process. The Holy Spirit teaching and guiding us gives us the changes resulting in the fruits of the Spirit, such as self-control.

God granting us self-control in a single are of our lives will leave us emotionally unbalanced or unequipped in the other areas in our lives. God wants more for us than a temporary fix. He wants to teach us to fish so we can eat for a lifetime rather than giving us a fish, so we eat now.

Are you willing to begin your quest for self-control? It's just a prayer away.